Ascendancy

Thursday, March 31, 2005

So sorry guys, guess I've been away for too long. I know, I know many might have think that I've gone lazy wih this blog thingy. So how's my blogsite, is it ok for all of you? Hehe, kinda cool huh? love the background, its plain simple but nice!

Anyway, yesterday thats on Wednesday, I went out with my former band-mates. Well, got to meet up with them again, although it seems like decades I've never been with my band. But I finally did, and I could'nt believe it went one of my band-mates(firman..) messaged my cell phone and asked me whether I'm free. To think that they will forget me forever, they sure did'nt I guess! Hehe, so we met up at our usually meeting place, and its damn far I tell you. At Kallang Bahru, and I had to take both the MRT and bus just to be there. Of course, they're with their school uniform, since they're too lazy to went back home and decided to head straight to our meeting place. And me oh my, its like one huge family coming back together(except my bro...) just to see each other once again. There's firman, Zaki, Hafiz and Syed, all in their school uniform. And my previous ex-girlfriend who used to follow me to jamming sessions was also there, oh she look so beatiful now. So there's about six of us there...

Anyway, we chatted and shared lame jokes. Just like old times, but the good thing is my band are non-smokers. I mean, they won't smoke when I'm around, becoz I'm no smoker, hehe. So my ex then asked me how's my life now, since I'm gonna start school soon and whether I'm more happier rite now. And I gave her a simple answer...

"Ya, aku lebih gembira sekarang, dengan seseorang insan yang ku sayangi..."

And she understood me clearly. Of course, I treated her as my little sister now. But I now realized something. That I'm attached to two wonderful girls who were in the same class as me during Sec 1. The past had long been forgotten, and yet the present is much more better. Guess this may be the ONE for me. Strange huh? What ever, next...

So after we had done chatting, they wanna go jamming. And I was so reluctant to go. Haha, coz I've so long never practice my vocal, but in the end ku mengalah and agreed. Coz they say they're gonna treat me! Haha, siape yang nak lepaskan peluang ini kan? Lagipun, tak sopan kan kalau buat begitu kepada rakan-rakan karib mu kan? I forgot which jamming spot they brought me lah, I think its at Ang Mo Kio. But the worst is yet to come, I felt so nervous being in a jamming room once again. SO MISS THIS PLACE MAN! Especially the mic, coz its like a long gone companion to me. But before we began, they set up a rule...

"THOSE WHO WENT OFF TUNE MUST TREAT ALL OF US LATER AH!!!"

Haha, and I got freakin scared man. Maklum lah, was'nt prepared for all this. But everything went ok lah for the first few minutes. Hehe, and I tell you we were all laughing out loud the whole time in the room. Why? Coz my vocal always went out of tune each time I had to reach a higher note. Especially when we were playing that song called RPC( Rahsia Pohon Cemara). Feel so malu man, but they too get their own fair share of mistakes. But now my ex was their vocalist for their band, which is'nt a surprise to me. So we were in the room for an hour, by then my throat was all dried up. Played a lot of songs lah, from exists to BPR to Spoon, all those they had memorised during our band performances and jamming sessions...

Anyway, I had the most mistake, but I did'nt treat them all in the end. Coz I am really short on money. Hehe, hopefully got to go out with them again lah, this time its on me...

Oh, and I wanna buy Exists latest Album Paragon. Argh, how come I did'nt noe that its already released? Hehe, love this song, Hilang Dalam Ramai. Hehe, hope u guys love it to. Till then, May God bless you, Wassallam.

*Alucard*
was rockin' on
Thursday, March 31, 2005 and they said.. 0 comments

Monday, March 28, 2005

So sorry people! Long time did'nt went blogging, it isn't becoz I malas ke ape, but my computer having problems.Ya, thanks to all these viruses an spywares, sure are annoying creatures that keeps attacking innocent computer users like us.So my internet connection got "hanged", or watever you all call it lah...

Anyway, I'm not sure wat I'm gonna type for today's entry, coz me now very very confused.Ya, sure thing when I'm trying be a "survivor" rite now. I have to "live" on people just to feed myself.And I feel so guilt when I had to, simply becoz I can't stand seeing myself borrowing people's money.But I'm really short on money, and I had reasons doing so.Lets say its just about my sister, which I rather not say...

So, I'm seriously looking for a job, even though my parents asked me to stay in the house looking after my little but "special" sister instead. Ya, like sending her to school, thats part of my routine now, as a big brother. But I don't mind doing all those, becoz I loved my sister. Who does'nt rite? So I needed money so that I can feed not only my own needs, but also my sister. I don't want my parents to feel like I'm a burden to them anymoer, so this is the least I can do to help.Anyway, soon I had to support the whole family later, being the eldest in the family kan...

SO ANYONE!!! If there's a job you could recommend me, I would love to hear it from you. I don't mind spending my time being a waiter or a cleaner( hey that's so low class rite?) or being a security guard. I just needed money so that I can repay all my friends, especially you dear...

Till then, May God bless you, Wassallam.

*Alucard*
was rockin' on
Monday, March 28, 2005 and they said.. 0 comments

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Haiz, malas lah nak continue my "story" kat KL, terlalu banyak bende happening lah. So what do I do now?Hehe, talk crap?No no no, I think I have something I wanna highlight, recently happened in the US.No, there's no bombing, nor there's any protest.Just an incident that really shocked the whole Islamic world.Yeah, if you knew it aready, its about a lady called Amina who became the FIRST woman dalam sejarah Islam yang mengimankan seruan Muslim dalam solat Jumaat baru-baru ini.And to tell you, this woman is not thinking logically, she's teaching ajaran sesat pada umat-umat Islam di US.And it really surprise me.Mengapa tiada wakil lelaki yang berani step up and said to this lady..."you've done a terrible sin trying to lead the Friday prayers..."Of course you do!Kerna dalam hukum syarak wanita DIHARAMKAN bersembahyang bersama dengan kaum lelaki.Dan, wanita DIHARAMKAN menjadi imam untuk apa-apa solat Jemaah.Stop giving lame excuses like..."equality against man and woman" and woman's right.This isn't about rights, its about AGAMA.Dan agama tidak boleh dipermainkan...

Ia mungkin satu-satunya tanda-tanda dari Yang Maha Berkuasa betapa dekatnye Hari KIAMAT itu dengan kita.Sesungguhnya, memang benar manusia skarang semakin leka dan lalai dibawa arus pemodenan dan dunia.Mereka lupakan segalanya, sembahyang lima waktu, Tuhan dan juga kawalan nafsu mereka.And it really hurts me to see that a lot of people that not preparing for Judgement day itself.Mengikut ayat Quran lah(if I remembered lah, coz long time haven refer.So ape-ape yang salah tolong maafkan...)"Sesungguhnya Ia(Hari Kiamat) akan muncul secara tiba-tiba.Dan sebab kerana manusia leka dan lalai dengan hal diri masing-masing, maka terjadi huru-hara di muka bumi ini..."Betapa hebatnya dan ngeri nya Hari itu akan jadi nanti, Tuhan sahajalah Yang Maha Mengetahui, Insyallah...

Dan bila tiba Dajjal yang ketujuh nanti, maka bersiaplah kita menghadapi hari itu.This, I cannot say Dajjal yang ke berape, but lets just pray its not the seventh.Tapi jangan kita takut, kerna semua binatang dan manusia akan menghadapi Hari Kiamat.Takut kerna Tuhan, tapi jangan lah kita takut kerna dosa, understand?Hehe, macam Ustad pulak orang dibuatnye.So, till then, May God Bless You, Wassallam.

*Alucard*
was rockin' on
Sunday, March 20, 2005 and they said.. 0 comments

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Haha, HI GUYS!!!I'm sorry for my absence...its not because I'm having problems with my com or what..but I was away for a vacation to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia untuk tiga hari dua malam.Cukup lah tu kan...

Monday 14 to Tuesday 15

Monday morning, I was totally sick on that day ok...I had mild fever and diarhoe...but then something made me feel better.Well, she smsed me while I was taking my medicine, around eight in the morning I think.At first my mind was so woggly-boggly when I read her message.I mean like, what the...am I dreaming or wat?Hehe, of course that time too I was still so depressed you see, and when I received her msg its like...thank God, my prayers have been answered.Beban yang dirasai seolah-olah terasa ringan di hatiku.But not really lah...

So, went to my uncle's also my boss-man's house first before we berangkat.My bag was the biggest of all, haha coz I brought a lot of things...My favourite jeans, favourite shirts, favourite cologne, favourite underwears(hehe..) and everything nice.There's two of my cousins, Sarah and Faris, and her parents lah.I was the only relative goin with them, becoz they wanna treat me to a vacation for passsing my O levels well.Haha, and I was so happy!Becoz first thing...got to see all the Minahs there!...

"Siapa kata gadis Melayu tak menawan..tak menarik hati..."

Of course there other things lah, shopping and the country itself lah.However, things did'nt go well as we all had been expecting...

On our way there, I got so worried.Its not becoz of her alone, but something else.Dan perjalanan ku semase ke KL was a sleepless one.My body felt so cold and I was shivering, maybe due to the fact that I was sicklah.Whats more, I forgot to bring my medication and my iPod, but thats got nothing to do with my condition lah.Argh!I dunnoe lah, I got the feeling that something wrong IS goin to happen, and it really did...

When we finally reach Pudu Raya, KL at around 4 in the morning, things become too dramatic.My aunt, also called Mama lah to me, lost THE MONEY!In a small bag, inside her bag, LOST!!!Everyone was so shocked, excluding me.I was devastated, due to the fact that I believe what I was experiencing before may have something to do with this.But I kept my silence, becoz i was so tired when I reached Pudu.My uncle and aunt decided to chase after the bus, thinking that there's still hope that they could find the money in the bus, becoz its goin to Genting at the moment.So they left the three of us at the nearest coffee shop.And everyone was dazed, so was I.I remembered sitting at the coffee shop for five hours, but to no avail the money was never to be found.A whole lot of money of 1000 RM and 500 SingDollars were lost. Two taxis helped us then, the first failed to reached up the summit of Genting Highlands.After that, my uncle, also called Abah to me, almost putus harapan.They would'nt want to leave us again at Pudu, becoz we were so tired and sleepy.But the next taxi driver was like a guardian to us.Well, he took the effort to go to every police station in the area to lodged this, so that the Malaysian Police could help us find the money.But like I said, it turned out the police searched the whole bus and could'nt find it.And becoz he pitied us, he picked the three of us from the coffee shop and recommended us to a cheap hotel in the area.We were downgraded to a one star hotel near Times Square called Star Town Inn.He then reluctantly accepted a seventy dollar bill from us, becoz thats what we could only offer.A NORMAL fare to and from Genting will cost you a 120 dollars.But this gentlemen did not want to take our money, although finally he did..."Bukan apa, saya kesiankan abang(my uncle lah tu...).Biarlah abang simpan duit tu, buat keluarga abang..."Ku berdoa semoga insan ini, ku tak tahulah siapa dirinya, semoga dia diletak dalam golongan orang-orang yang disayangi Tuhan di akhirat nanti.Ku sangka selama ini taxi drivers in KL usually charge outsiders or foreigners like us extra bill, but there are those yang jujur hati mereka.And to me, he was our saviour for our vacation to KL.And to the person who took our money, ku sumpah hidupnye melara sepanjang hayat.Ku tak tahu samade korang gunekan pukau atau sihir, hanya Tuhan sahaja Yang Maha Mengetahui...

Haiz, maybe I'll continue for tomorrow k, there's a whole lot more things I've got to say.So, remember to blog me, till then May God Bless You, Wassallam.

*Alucard*
was rockin' on
Thursday, March 17, 2005 and they said.. 0 comments

Sunday, March 13, 2005

To think that Saturday I'll be as miserably hurt I could ever get, my parents ask me out for a family outing.Thanked God that I would'nt have to be at home, just looking through window, dazed.All of it happened so fast, everything just went blank, its as though I was in a dream.Tapi ku terima hakikat nya, I was the one to be blame.I should have been sensitive to her feelings, I should have not said that I would'nt want to see her at all.All I want is not seeing her for a time being, so that I would have the time to recuperate myself.I was so confused, dan bukan ku sengaja tidak mahu menegur mu hari itu, tetapi hatiku terasa gelisah melihat diri mu.I did'nt want to hurt your feelings, and that's why I kept myself away from you.It turn out the other way round.In the end, I lost you.And left only shattered dreams...

So I visited my grandparents today with a fake smile. I pretended to feel as though nothing did happen to me.But my nenek knew me too well.She was worried that I was actually hurting deep inside."kenape nie Apat?Muram je?"But I just smiled and said to her that I'm just sleepy.I can't believe I just lied to my nenek, I've done something sinful, just so that I would'nt have to share a burden to my nenek.She's like a mother to me, she took care of me when I was a baby, and I would'nt want to tell her that I just hurt someone's feeling and is now hurting myself just because I've done so.Hanya Tuhan sahaja Yang Maha Mengetahui, semoga diriku dimaafkan kerna perbuataan ku ini. And then, when we were on our way back home, in the car, the radio just keeps on playing this loves song over and over again.Especially Rindu serindunya daripada kumpulan Spoon. My Ayah and Aie sang along with the song, while me just looking through window.And I almost cried.Aie menyapa ku..."Abang!Kenape tak nyanyi, kan favourite song kau..."I noe brother, but I'm just not in the mood...

I can't believe all these had just happened.Why did'nt I noticed her from the beginning?Why did'nt I saw her coming? Selama ini, cinta itu berada di sisiku.Namun, ku tidak menghiraukannya, seolah-olah ia bukan di sana.Ku tidak menyedari semua ini.Mengapa kau tidak meluahkan kepada ku yang kau menyintai diriku?Mengapa harus kau memberiku alasan yang kau tidak berniat menyintai diriku?Bukan ku kan memarahi diri mu.But its all over, tergamak kau melupakan diriku sebegitu sahaja.You only remembered me only through this.After all those memories we've been together, how we used to fought with each other, bertengkar sesama sendiri and even shared lame jokes to each other.You forgot all those? Why did'nt you even remembered the time I told you that you are who you are.The only girl who pinches me, bullies me.That what's makes you.Tapi semua itu hanya kenangan sahaja.Terpulang pada diri mu, ku hanya berdoa semoga kau punya seorang kekasih yang menyayangi diri mu lebih dari diriku.Our friendship was a sincere one, I do cherished it.Up till now, but all of it is already broken now.I've cause so much pain to you, I noe that saying sorry is'nt enough for you. Siapalah ku ini, untuk menyintai seorang insan seanggun dirimu, namun tidak pernah membalas kasih sayang mu...

I'll get over it, its ok you're not totally at fault.Ku mengalah, ku lah segala penyebabnya.Aku lah seorang insan yang tidak menghargai kasih sayang mu.My life has always been carefree.Its time I look after my siblings.They're my responsibility now.Especially my sister.Some of you might noe about her condition, but its best I keep it to myself.I love her as all brothers cared for their siblings. Ku hanya berdoa kepada Tuhan semoga ku dapat melalui sisa-sisa hidup ku ini sekarang...

Till then, May God bless you, Wassallam.

*Alucard*
was rockin' on
Sunday, March 13, 2005 and they said.. 0 comments

Saturday, March 12, 2005

I've got nothing to say.I'm speechless.I've lost everything now.We've been through together, thick and thin.And all of it was lost in just days.I am to be blame for all these, because I was so selfish.Heartless and stupid I was, that I did'nt noe she was suffering all these now because of me. I, the person she once regard as a brother, now a nobody to her?I just hope she receive my e-mail, just so that everything will be cleared.But I know there's no point, nothing will also be gained after she read all these.I've inflicted enough pain to her, I'm really sorry I did that. I'm not a perfect person, I always end up losing in the end. I just wanna see her happy now...

Bukan sekejap dengan mu,
Bukan mainan hasrat ku
Engkau pun tahu niat ku, tulus dan suci...
Senang benar ku ucapkan,
Ku anggap semua itu, suratan
Sikit pun riak wajah ku
Tanpa menghiraukan, diri mu...
Hanya engkau, separuh nyawa
Menahan, sebak di dadah
Sedangkan ku bersahaja
Berlalu, tanpa kata
Terasa diri amat terhina
Ku lah, yang melakukan segalanya...

*Alucard*
was rockin' on
Saturday, March 12, 2005 and they said.. 0 comments

I'm freakin tired.And dazed.Why?Hehe, went to the campfire night at my ex-school.Nothing much, nothing great, really.Just seeing "kids" enjoying their first year in school. And some nothing-much-but-still-ok performances.

Hehe, hey I just went there to meet up with my juniors and teachers. I'm not there to see kids running around, enjoying themselves in school.I met up with old buddies, my "adik-adik" for that matter.But of course, they're now teens, and growing taller.Hehe, me now looking like juniors to them.Then I met up with my teachers, Mr Tan, the one teaching HEY for our class last year, and made fun of him.What sia, he told me he's not teaching HEY lessons anymore!And then I told him..."Its good lah you're not teaching HEY anymore.You teach our class makes me wanna...Lucky u did'nt continue on doin this." And then he pinched me!Haha, stupid rite, then I mocked him..."You are, act like girls u noe.Pinching people..."And then his eyes glowed and replied ah..."What did you say? You want me to act manly izzit?I can..." He raised his fist, like wanna start a fight like dat.I then said to him..."Cool-cool.Just jokin only lah..."Ish-ish, teacher acting like kids.Haha, I also met up with my first malay teacher, Mr Ishak.Ya, I still respect him, coz he's so fatherly to me.And we chatted..."Amacam skarang? Sekolah dah habis ade kerje tak?" I then said to him..."Ade lah, tapi contract dah habis.Kerje di Haig Road kat seafood.Skarang duduk rumah je tunggu kan skolah kat poly..."Ya, he's such a nice teacher, he's even a friend to my grandfather lah, they used to be colleagues.Dats why I and Mr Ishak quite close,hehe...

I dun really miss this school.But I miss the people who changed and raised me up from Sec 1 and 4.I did'nt come there just to be with my friends.But I have unsettled things I would like say to my teachers and adik-adik.They still remembered me, and do missed me!Walaupun ku sudah keluar dari sekolah ini, there are those who remembered me for being a great friend, and brother.I'm happy bout them being glad seeing me and said..."hey Yat!Kau datang jugak!Dah lama tak jumpe, kau nie kenape tak gi skolah jumpe kite skarang..."How I wish I could, I do miss all of you, but you guys have to continue studying.I want all of you to do great in your studies k...

Argh, and I have'nt gotten over this thing.Ya, this RELATIONSHIP thing. It made me so miserably hurt the whole night, but U feel as if nothin had happened.AND even had the cheek to call ME.I think its not totally your fault, its me all along.I should have known all this. Siapalah ku ini, untuk mempermainkan perasaan orang.Ini bukan kali pertama, tetapi pernah juga ku terima hakikat ini. I'm not really mad about U meluahkan isi hati mu terhadap ku, to me its nothing.BUT I'm angry when you try to compare yourself by saying that..."there are other girls that are suitable you,Who am I to offer you?"U reminded me of HER, and sounded like HER.I'm starting to hate people who lowers her self-esteem. Alasan MU cukup munasabah, I appreciate YOUR honesty.Ya, you're being TOO HONEST to me...Saying sorry isn't enough for me, I dun care whether you're mad at me after saying this.Becoz I cared for you only as my SISTER.I"m just there by your side just so that you won't think of HIM anymore, so that U have someone to be with.Nothing more. And after all this, I can't forgive myself.Thank you for everything, you helped me a lot.One day I' ll repay U.I think its best I dun see U anymore.Terasa juah diriku dari dosa begini.Maafkan lah diri ku, aku lah segala penyebabnya...

Till then, May God bless you, Wassallam.

*Alucard*
was rockin' on
Saturday, March 12, 2005 and they said.. 0 comments

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Hehe, well today was'nt actually a bad day.No, I mean yesterday, thats on Monday.Got to play pool with my friends.And Damn Ah yong lah, I can't seem to beat him in this game.He's got this lucky aura around him, and when he struck those balls, they'll magical went in.While me trying my best to get them in but still could'nt.Sometimes it's not luck, but also skill too.Hehe, so I'm just making silly excuses ya...

Anyway, I think today I'm not goin to do a games review lah, still finding the suitable game to pick.Hehe, maybe tomorrow or the next two days ok?So, I'm just trying to point something out about me.You see, yesterday I also got to see these weird secondary school girls, four of them who just could'nt stop eyeing at me.Well, it happened in the bus.Hehe, they're sitting in the front seat, while me staring through the window at the back seat.And I tell you, these girls ah, I dunnoe what school they're from, but they would'nt stop looking at me and giggled for no reason.And there I was maintaining my coolness, maintain just as usual, not trying to be overeacted by these girls.What they're whispering to each other too, I dunnoe, but only God knows.And then when they're about to alight the bus, one of them, she's quite pretty lah, go and pandai-pandai tegur ku and said bye too me.But then I looked up, and turned around.Nobody what, who're you saying goodbye to?And I looked at her,she smiled.I mean, oh my God, you're saying goodbye to me!Haha, of course I replied and waved at her.She then malu-malu kucing alighted the bus.There I was, cair yet again...

Hehe, but I just could'nt understand lah.You see, in school I was'nt actually the most popular person around.I always regard myself as a commoner, someone who has no looks, no body, nothing.This was'nt the first time I've been through lah of course, I'm also not making this up.It makes me wonder whether I'm actually somebody.When I always perform in my former band, people sometimes walked up to me and said..."are you a celebrity, I've never seen you on TV?"And then girls, who've also favoured my former bands, will sometimes attend to a function we are assigned and screamed for the sake of our performance even though there's VIP and Guest-of-honours around.I dunnoe lah whether diorang nie masih setia ke tak, but I noe some of them.Someone like Julia, I did'nt believe it when she said she actually like my band, and also me!And I do receive messages from unknown people asking me when's our band performance.I was dumbfounded, how could they actually get my number when in the first place I don't even noe them, and they managed to get my number? Sadly, our band finally berpisah, I thought its time we should go to our own separate ways...

For now, let me be a son to Norman Nasir, a big brother to Nor Azhari and Nur Fatin and a student from SP later.I concentrate on what I love first that is my family, and fokus pada kerjaya ku dulu.Maybe one day you'll see me as a somebody.But for now, I still regard myself as a nobody. Till then, may God bless you, Wassallam.

*Alucard*
was rockin' on
Tuesday, March 08, 2005 and they said.. 0 comments

Monday, March 07, 2005

Finally, I've keyed in all 12 courses, after so much thinking and brainstorming.I still can't believe they'll only take 35 candidates, that's so little man.I just prayed to God that I'll get through to this course...

Anyway, now I'm trying my best to help my cousin too to get to polytechnics.Its best he'll further he's studies in poly education, rather than spending time in ITE and waste his one year as also an O' level private candidate.I'm trying my best to get him in, those course he's good at, that is in design.He's really good in art, but unfortunately he failed both in English and Maths.I know how devastated he is, but as part of my family, I must help.That's what I always think, family over friends.Because, in the end your family will be the ones who'll be with you for the rest of your life.Friends are there to keep you company.They come, they go.But there are those who you still hold on to.They are the ones you've learn to trust with all your heart...

Now, I'm just spending most of my time doing nothing at home.Well, not exactly nothing at all, but always doing the same old routine, practising my vocals.And it's starting to bore me, especially doing those same exercises over and over again.Like, Mee-aah, Hum-haa, Hum-hoo...and it freaks me out to the core man.Then, my bro bought a distortion set for his electric guitar for $90 man!That's so cheap, there's a sale at a warehouse in Kallang and he managed to bought one there.Usually they sold it at $200,but this is an Ibanez distortion set!Man, how cool is that!Now he plays his guitar in overdrive mode, so gerek man.Rock habis nye!Hehe, for those who does'nt understand what the hell I'm talking about, don't mind about it k...

Well, me buying a new audio recording set soon.Of course its damn expensive, like a hundred for one.I'll see to it lah, coz me still not too sure whether I'm still goin to that course.But its ok, once in poly, I wanna form a new band.Hopefully, got to meet some new friends that loves to play in a band.Not finding GIRLFRIEND arh, don't get that in your head ok!Hehe, how badly I miss my band-mates, man now I'm so bored at home I feel like going out with someone, or anyone just to kill time.Of course, skarang ku cuba mengawal nafsu ku, I'll try not to talk to or be in a relationship with someone for now.Man, I wonder what's she doing right now?Haiz, if only I asked ah yong to get her number just so that I could ask her how's her results.Or which course she's planning to go. I'll still miss her even if I don't see her again.Insan mana yang lupakan kekasih lamanya?

"Kau di sisi ku, sentiasa...Shafinas..."

Well, that's all I think.Hah, I almost forget, maybe I'll update the game of the month for the March Issue alright.Hehe, its been a long time I've gone blogging.See how it goes ok, till then, may God bless all of you, Wassallam.

*Alucard*
was rockin' on
Monday, March 07, 2005 and they said.. 0 comments

Saturday, March 05, 2005

This past few days I've been doin a lot of researching, rujukan dan penyilidikan.Maklumlah, I still have'nt decided on my dream course yet, I'm still doubtful about my future.Making a wrong choice could also spell trouble for me, I'm still very nervous about my chosen course.Now I've finally found out that my course's intake for this year is actually low.No, its damn low man, like only 35 seats.Furthermore, I'm still unsure about its job prospects and what they really wanna see in you through the audition cum interview if I were to be shortlisted.Man, I'm so confused rite now...

Anyway, I've done quite a lot just to get to this music and audio technology course, having a habit of warming-up my vocals in the morning, revising my music books again(haiz, damn boring you noe, seeing those freakin musical notes just makes me wanna regurgitate...) and then practising those chromatics.Somehow, I'm also re-learning to play this dusty guitar of mine at home.I must thank my bro lah, because of his guitar pro software, he need'nt have to waste his time "tutoring" me.Hehe, ya thats what happens when you seldom holds a guitar and suddenly starting to learn it when the time comes when you have to.Silly rite?Well, at least I'm doin early preparation so that I could hopefully make it through to this course...

Well, if I still did'nt get this course, there's always another option.Unfortunately, I'm still deciding the other subsequent courses.They say the multimedia technology course also have music applications in its modules, but they're too basic.This course is more in-depth, which I'm really interested.Especially that songwriting, how I wish I could songwrite my own song.Not to mention, they also teach you how to record and mix music. Man, and I'm also interested in that digital media design in Nanyang Polytechnic.The lecturer told me I could instantly command that place instant, given my aggregrate matches the required COP.I love doing animation too, but music is still my core interest lah...

Argh!I think I'll discuss this with my bibik instead, maybe she could help me.She's the only one that know's what goes around the campus, and the demand of certain courses.For now, my list of courses still remains unsure, because I can't just choose a certain course just like that.I need to also see its job prospects and how demanding it is.Maybe by Sunday I'll be able to finalise all 12 courses.Till then, may God bless you, Wassallam.

*Alucard*
was rockin' on
Saturday, March 05, 2005 and they said.. 0 comments

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Well, it has been decided.And its my final decision.I'm going to the music and audio technology course in Singapore Polytechnic.Syukur Alhamdullilah, ibubapa ku merestui nya, walaupun pada mulanya mereka enggan.Who would'nt, they would want to expect you to go to a course that is demanding in the market currently.I understand very clearly that the music industry in Singapore is far too small and limited.A mere vocalist like me would hardly survive in this country. Yet, I chose interest out of revenue, and I knew what I did was right.Of course, hard work and resilience may help me in the long run, but the major set back for me is that I've no relative or friends that is really good in this field.No connection, nothing.I'm really all alone rite now.And I know there will be players in there that are already far more experience than me in this field.So, its gonna be a new challenge for me, but I'm up to challenges.I want to fulfill my ambition, to be a great singer/vocalists.But I did'nt told my parents the real reason behind this decision, because they would think that I'll be a laughing stock in the end.Who would actually believe me?Nevermind bout what others say, just believe in yourself.So does your potential, and talent.So I pray to God to give me strength to carry on with this new phase of life...

Anyway, I'm glad that the results are released, and yet deciding on the courses you wanna go is much more harder than you could imagine.There's a lot you need to sacrifice.One of them is your friends.And I believe that is definitely true.We will never see each other again, everyone has gone to their own separate ways.And I'm not sure who'll be tagging along with me in this course, given that my friends all have their own interest and potential.So I'm not pretty sure who I'll get to meet when I'm starting my new life in polytechnic...

Well, at least I'm confident that I could enter this course, given the interviews and audition that candidates have to go thorugh.I hope they won't ask about my understanding on musical notes and keys, I'm damn weak in that.Furthermore, for the auditions, I'm not sure whether they'll accept vocalists like me who rarely holds a musical instrument.Of course, I've played quite a lot of musical instruments, especially the guitar and trombone when I'm in primary school back then.But I'm not really good at those, my real strength lies in my vocals itself.Man, I'm so nervous rite now, hopefully they'll accept me.It doesn't mean I have a kugiran or stage band before, I have enough musical background...

I'm sure I'll make it, I'll go against all odds to achieve what I've loved from young.Namun kalau sudah ditakdirkan oleh Yang Maha Esa yang ku dapat berjaya dalam bidang ini, syukur Alhamdullilah.But I know I'l have to work hard to achieve it.So, hopefully everyone too will get their desired course.Till then, may God Bless you, Wassallam.

*Alucard*
was rockin' on
Wednesday, March 02, 2005 and they said.. 0 comments