Ascendancy

Sunday, January 29, 2006

CNY

Well, is the time of the year where all my chinese friends and bros are celebrating their Lunar New Year, so I would love to wish them a very good and prosperous New Year!

So yesterday went to jamming with my bros band, and ya my adik ipar was there(hehe). And we were playing at Clarke Quay now, not far from were we used to play, the one near peninsula. But its cheaper, I must say. 14 dollars an hour is considered an ok price. We booked for two hours, and its damn fun. The mike was ten times better than the place we used to play. In addition, my adik ipar was also singing! So we sang alot of songs, not love songs. Just, rock. And she's good man, totally. Minah rock habis nye...XD

Man, I would love to see my chinese friends showing me what they wore for their Chinese New Year. Just like us malay Muslims, our baju kurung is like a must-see-thing for every Hari Raya. Most of the time I look forward to seeing what my cousins and friends wore for their New Year lah. Hopefully my chinese friends took lotsa of pics and show me what they are wearing this CNY. And I pray that Peter won't be wearing pink for his CNY celebration! I'll faint man!!! XD

So smell ya guys later, Happy Chinese New Year! Gong Xi Fa Cai, hang bao nai lai!!!

Wassallam.

*Alucard*
was rockin' on
Sunday, January 29, 2006 and they said.. 0 comments

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

The Nameless

Maybe I'm just not resting enough this past few days. I really need a break right now. PLenty of sleep, Zzz. Nevermind that I need someone to talk to. I think, its better seeing my friends without ever talking about my personal problems. Coz they're this bunch of people that no matter how hard you wanna feel so down in front of them, they can really make you smile. Wah piangz, I think its just becoz I can't stand being alone...not even a second...I need my friend's company man..seriously!

I really loved SlipKnot! Wah, I could have been to their concert live in Singapore lorh, but heck it the other day I was so broke I could'nt even buy myself a new pair of jeans. I watch their concerts in youtube, and I just wanna be in a band like them. They got like, 9 bandmates? And currently, I can only find like...4?! Even if we have'nt formed our own yet. Wah piangz, so not fair. Hahakz, I'm looking forward for Saturday's jamming session with my bro's band again. I dunnoe lah, I kinda look forward to go jamming. Its like, a ritual to me. Only then, I use to be so impatient, I started singing even while my ex-bandmates were tuning their guitars. Hahakz, and you should noe the rest man...The went berserk!! XD

Wassallam.

*Alucard*
was rockin' on
Tuesday, January 24, 2006 and they said.. 0 comments

Monday, January 23, 2006

Self-concluded

I can describe my state as it is now...

Tired, Jaded, Exhausted, Depressed, Lost, Confused, Emo...

Could be that I'm just tired. Of school. Of Life. Of my own responsibilities. And my own feelings...

Maybe...

I would be happy to find someone I could talk to as a listening ear. Someone I'm comfortable talking to, someone I can really trust. I'm just...not taking care of myself lately...= (

My thought is all random right now. What I say here, may mean nothing at all...

Wassallam.

*Alucard*
was rockin' on
Monday, January 23, 2006 and they said.. 0 comments

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Tak Tahu Harga Cinta

I did'nt know why, this past few days I've been rather heartless. Somehow my heart has turn so cold, I'm starting to be insensitive towards my parents and to others. Reasonless arguements that seems to bother me. Or if that what it's suppose to be. Or why should I be thinking of it all the time, even if it means REASONLESS. And it hurts a lot...

That I did'nt listen to my mak while she was calling me, and next thing I knew she was blasting me. I just got back from school and was feeling so freaking tired I decided to head to bed straight. God, the only way was to just lock the doors and kept my silent. And my dad got so furious I'd ask for more money lately, we broke out into a verbal fight. Whereas nowadays, I've only ask $30 dollars from him, thats also coz I need them to top-up my fare card and for staying at my cousin's place today....

And now, I knew something bad would happen. I felt this emotional thing going on out of a sudden. And it did somehow. I knew I was'nt thinking...

Tapi nasi sudah menjadi bubur. Ku cuma mahu kepastian. Ataupun mungkin ku sudah putus asa dalam soal cinta...

Why is it that things don't always seem to settle between us...? Maybe I should just keep this stupid mouth of mine shut for good...

Wassallam.

*Alucard*
was rockin' on
Sunday, January 22, 2006 and they said.. 0 comments

Friday, January 20, 2006

Author-wearing?

I'm in DMD class now, and I'm so freakin bored. Well, lucky there's JP by my side man, and ya we can either follow the lesson or do our own things. I must say both is kinda boring, coz the school's server give you limited access in the net. Freakin sux man...

Hmmz, wats the worst place to find an old friend?

I find it the toilet. Saw my bro Edmund today in the school toilet. And he was peeing?! Goodness!! How's that for a surprise...And shaking hands with his wet palms of his?! What could have been worst man. Freaky...XD

Wassallam.

*Alucard*
was rockin' on
Friday, January 20, 2006 and they said.. 0 comments

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Decapitated

Man, watched a movie with my bro Rui Qi again. This time it was the movie called derailed. And ya, it's NC 16. There's a reason why it has to be there ok! It was becoz of Jennifer Aniston that we bothered watching the movie, and I tell you she looks freaking old! But she's still sexy as ever. Me and Rui qi were goin goo-goo ga-ga over her. But to be honest, the movie was kinda nice after all. Not nice as in nice lah, but nice as in the movie itself lah(what the hell am I saying...). Though there were some mature "scenes" and lotsa of f***ing around in the movie...XD

I recently heard a radio conversation. And it was a question that kinda struck me...

How was your first kiss like?

I was like, man how could I even remember my first kiss when I was at five(kindergarten)? Come to think of it, the kiss was'nt just a greatest experience, but it was the proudest thing I ever did! XD

Walking down memory lane can sometimes hurt you. Months ago, you hugged me and whispered to my ear," I love you too...". And days back, I saw you with someone new. Now, do you really mean it, or was it just a habit of saying those words? Don't misuse the word love...to be honest, I still can't remove this feelings deep inside of me...

Wassallam.

*Alucard*
was rockin' on
Thursday, January 19, 2006 and they said.. 0 comments

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Jam-mer-ing

Man, today I was kinda happy. In the meantime, I finally had my day off from all those projects and school related stuff I've been working on this past few days. And also just to clear this depressing state of mind I've been having too. Well, I did'nt know my day with my bro's band would be this awesome. I enjoyed it man...

Went jamming with Shaiful, Ryan, Wan and Rusydi. With my bro of coz, duh. All my ex secondary school peeps. It was at peninsula plaza btw, and we played like only...two songs?! One was from MCR's Helena and the other was Avenged Sevenfold's I Won't See You Tonight Part 1. And apparently ,the vocalist was suppose to be Rusydi( sedare kepada Faz, my Frinky friend...) but it ended up me spending the whole one hour of jamming session singing! Woohoo, and it was free!! And I finally got to hear my screamo voice on the mike after a very long time! And it's still there man!! Sheesh. Guess I'm still into vocals, uh-huh...

I now understand that music is the only thing that made me and my bro communicate well. And it happened today. It was really surprising that the passion we both share in music is so deep, we can talk about it for hours. And even understand each other's own strengths and weaknesses in it, every time we had our jamming sessions. Music IS the vibe of life. And to me, it is also the passion that both me and my bro share. It is what made we brothers together...

Ok, I'm feeling so tired rite now. My throats kinda sore too. Heh, hopefully I can join them for jamming sessions again. Though this time, I try not to take the mike. I'll guide poor Rusydi to improve on his vocals instead. XD

Wassallam.

*Alucard*
was rockin' on
Sunday, January 15, 2006 and they said.. 0 comments

Thursday, January 12, 2006

The Chronicles of Life and Death

Man, The Chronicles of Narnia rocks. Well, not totally though. I watched it with my bro Rui Qi. My only movie partner now. Sheesh. And after the movie, we talk about lotsa things...pretty much till we kinda got home late at eleven...

I'll never understand why my bro keeps on crying on the phone this days when he's talkin to his girlfriend. And I rather not intrude his own personal love life. Coz it'll be useless, he won't even start a proper conversation with me anyway. But what I know, he's just crying so that he can prove to her that he cares for her. I'm like, why the hell are you behaving this way..?! You're a man, you don't do this kind of shit. Even if you do love her, why should you be crying? You only cry if you lose or break up with someone you love so dearly, or you are feeling down or sad. BUT YOU DON'T CRY WHEN YOU WANNA PROVE YOUR LOVE TO SOMEONE! Worst still, if you are a guy. Man, one day I'll just tell him to..."Wipe those f***ing tears of yours and start behaving like a man!" Sheesh, and I just could'nt understand why would he be so dumb enough not to realise that what he's doing right now is pathetic...

I had enough of my brother. Sometimes, when I tried helping him to stay positive, he'll just f*** me off. I'm sorry if its not a proper language to you, but I can't stand him seeing him like that and acting like a jerk. When will he ever learn...when will you brother...

I would like to apologise for my entry, next time I won't do it man. Just blurting out some feelings I've been hiding all these while. Why is it hard for someone to stay positive? And why is it that negativity is the only solution to make you feel better? Its just hard to maintain happiness, Sorrow will just persistently keep knocking on your door...

Wassallam.

*Alucard*
was rockin' on
Thursday, January 12, 2006 and they said.. 0 comments

Sunday, January 08, 2006

DotA-ing..

Man, I've been training myself in DotA ever since me and my friends got this invitation for the dotA trial in school(Apparently luie was playing dotA and a guy gave us this slip of invitation). Peter and I decided to go for it lah, since we kinda feel confident of winning it. And I've been practising late at night with Peter this past few days and kinda wake up late the next morning. Considering I've got test the next week.And I am feeling a bit sleep in lectures too. And I have'nt studied my C programme. Which is my one and only test next week. GOODNESS!! I gotta stop this habit man, before I start failing my test again...sheesh...

I now feel like a busy person whenever I'm walking down the corridor in school. Especially when there's "traffic lights" that seems to stop your every pace. I'm talking about people by the way. And people whom I got to noe in school. Like saying hi and bye and even a smile to them each time I see them. Sheesh. My peeps and friends. Its even more weirder when my trip to the the atrium to the south canteen can be more than ten minutes...woohoo, talk about having a network of friends ya...

Hari Raya Haji is coming, but I know me and my family will me missing someone real badly. That this years Raya would be totally different, now that we lost someone so dear. Truly there'll be something awkward going on this coming Tuesday. And I'm starting to miss my uncle man... ) =

Wassallam.

*Alucard*
was rockin' on
Sunday, January 08, 2006 and they said.. 0 comments

Thursday, January 05, 2006

E-teaching

Man, teaching someone in msn is kinda hard. Especially when she does'nt even noe a single thing about Java. Seriously, I did'nt even noe how and where to start. Coz its rainning outside and my body is'nt feeling well today. Thought we can meet but oh well, guess things aren't suppose to be what it should have been.(What the hell is that..?!).Well, the least I can help is...only like...type one phrase..and then another...and then another...till I lost track...what the hell rite..?!

And I would like to know. Who is the best screamo?! Is it howard Jones(Roadrunner United) or Bert McCracken(The Used). Or anyone else who noes other vocalists who also rocks in screamo? Hahakz, I'll be glad to know...

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DONE?!

Wassallam.

*Alucard*
was rockin' on
Thursday, January 05, 2006 and they said.. 0 comments

Monday, January 02, 2006

Hello 2006!!!

The New Year had just passed, and I still think that 2005 means A LOT to my life. especially when things that I've never anticipated, happened. So much that I've learn to live my life to the fullest, maybe appreciating it more than I used to...

My year 2006 resolution is always the same. To have a new year(duh), new life and maybe a new love. To keep it short, all things new. Bak kate pepatah, buang yang keruh, ambil yang jernih. Those that have come to my life, and those that have gone. To those that have made me cried, and even made me happy. I wanna thank you all(those) who had made 2005 a pleasant year for me. Insyallah, 2006 will be a better year for not only me, but for those around me too...

I guess, my friends had been persuading me a lot this past few days. To find new love, jut becoz I've been telling them I feel so empty inside now. That I need to find someone new so that my life is complete. But man, I don't feel like to. I dunnoe, I just feel like I'm much more happier now. Living the life as a single person gives me so many space to breathe. But then again, it does'nt mean I'm not open to dates and seeing someone else. I am actually, hehez...but I'm not gonna say who. I think only my cousin and my bro knows who she is, not even my best friends knew about it. But then again, I'm not always going out for dates. NOT even going out ok! I mean, DATUK'S GONNA BE MAD IF I DON'T GO FOR JEMAAH!!! Man, even solat sunnah is'nt spared...*sigh*

Will I ever see you again..?

What the hell am I saying?! So smell ya guys later, happy new year! May God bless all of you, Wassallam.

*Alucard*
was rockin' on
Monday, January 02, 2006 and they said.. 0 comments