Thursday, March 09, 2006
Who can I talk to?
Man, I'm starting to get lazier each day. Maybe its becoz I'm starting to get the habit of sleeping pretty late. Or maybe becoz I really have nothing else to do at home. Sheesh. But the best thing about staying at home, is that I gotta sleep everyday. But sleeping everyday ain't good for me, it really affects my eating habit. I'm like eating one meal per day, and dats totally not like me at all. I use to eat at least three meal, well if I'm freaking hungry dat is. But now, I can even last with snacks. And no proper meal. What the hell, I seriously need to see a doctor about this. Maybe a psychiatrist, or physician. Whoever lah, I dun like to see my tummy shrinking. I'm no anorexic, I'm just too lazy to eat nowadays. Hehe.
Anyway, I've decided not to find a job. But this can also be a random, or even a temporary suggestion. Now I just wanna rest, as much as I can at home. My body's feeling de-stress now, I dun go emo all the time .Even if I do go to my usual depression mode again, all I have to do is to call my jurong western friends, chill by the longkang(I noe its a bit awkward, but I imagine it as a river by the neighbourhood) and have a drink. They drink beer, I drink root beer. Wicked. And we sometimes chat about things we normally dun talk in school. Things that can be quite personal. But I love chatting with this two friends of mine, even though we're totally worlds apart. One goes "anything lah", the other can be so direct in her words, she can sound very sarcastic. Believe me, she had me dumbfounded once.
But they're just fun to be with, even if it means me being the only malay. And I realise one thing, that most people always had this thinking. And its a stigma lah, they have this belief that different races cannot be mix. Malays will always be with malays, and chinese will always be with the chinese. Whichs is kinda sad lah, considering that I've plenty of chinese friends more than malays. Its not that I hate being with malay friends, but I'm just used to being with the chinese. And I noe both of our races have to uphold our own religion and cultural belief and watever that has gotta do with our own tradition. But fuck it lah, I dun think that should be a reason why we can't be close friends or maybe even turn to lovers. We are still human. I really am disappointed about how narrow-minded people could get, coz even my mak asked me one day whether I'm having chinese friends. And she sounded as if I'm gonna fall in love with their religion or culture liddat. Which is so wrong, I totally hate it. Why can't anyone understand...
I dun feel myself distant to my own religion. I still love my God Allah. I love kitab suci Al-Quran. I love Nabi Muhammad SAW. And most of all, I love my parents.
I'm trying to write my own song for this past few days, since I got plenty of time at home. Insyallah, I could even record it. Of coz, it may need the help of my bro. He's good at inventing new ideas. When I write a lyric, somehow rather, he can make a particular note blend perfectly to my lyrics. Which is totally awesome. I do love to take part in gigs again. I miss entertaining people.
Wassallam.
was rockin' on
Thursday, March 09, 2006 and they said.. 
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