Thursday, August 04, 2005
Man, its 2 am morning. And I've just finish my maths revision. So much for notes. So much for staying late at night. I'm gonna flop my multimedia computing. Astaghfirullah, what have I done. Maybe I did'nt prayed for well-being. Or simply, asked for guidance...
Anyway, multimedia computing test yesterday was a total disaster. I did'nt manage to answer all of the questions. I was kinda pissed. Kinda, disheartened. All I could think of was, just to give up. Give up on studying. But I did'nt brought up any tantrums nor complained. I stayed in the lecture teather till the paper ends. Because, I was so disarrayed. So, confused. All of a sudden, my mind went blanked. After all, its just a test...
Today, I felt so...different. Was it because I regretted what I did the yesterday? Or was it because I felt like I missed something? My prayers? My...own Religion? I felt like I was getting a little too distant..to my own race...my own religion. Mak used to say I'm forgetting my own roots, your own race. But I told her how unlucky I was that my class were'nt that many Malays. And...my friends were coincidentally...chinese. That I'm starting to talk like one. Starting to act like one. Starting to feel..act...chinese. My God, Apa yang telah terjadi?!
And I've suddenly thought of my own religion. Sorry for the inconvience to all those Non-muslims, but I've finally realized I've been missing a lot of my prayers and Quran-recital since I've been starting school. The only thing I've been keeping track, was to watch Syarahans on TVs. That to me, was the source of my "religious" teachings now. Other than that, school has been stopping me for Friday Prayers. Lupakan doa yang selalu ku panjatkan sesudah solat, menggabaikan bacaan Quran ku dan jarang ke masjid untuk berjemaah. I'm not blaming school, neither am I blaming of all the changes that has been occuring around me. Tapi sebagai seorang mukmin, ku harus sedar. Sembahyang lah sebelum kamu disembahyangkan...
I don't know why I'm so...emotional today. All these just, terlintas dari buah fikiran ku. Maybe when I heard my bro Zul mentioned masjid, that triggered all these...And now, I've been thinking about it constantly. Maybe its just me imagining things. Bummer. Guess I should take a good rest after my maths test. I've not been feeling, too well I suppose..
I'm playing these song specially for my bro Zul. Hehez, jangan lah berhenti berharap...
Bagaikan bintang( si Dia...) di langit, kecapi lah nya sebelum ia hilang di pandangan mata
Bintang nya kan bersinar, setiap kali malam( sengsara...) tiba
Berikannya, kasih sayang dan kesetiaan
Dan ia kan membawa mu ke dunia ku namakan, cinta...
Insyallah...
So smell ya later guys and Till then, May God bless all of you, Wassallam.
was rockin' on
Thursday, August 04, 2005 and they said.. 
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